Baby Shoes

Everyone knows that tiny shoes are possibly the cutest thing about a baby. I am so excited to have found these mini adventure sandals for Rylie!! Slightly excessive, but seriously - so worth it. I can't wait to see her and try them on.

It's July - Hallelujah

Too much stuff has gone on to recap it all, so I’ll just pick up from the last few weeks.  Rylie got really sick in June.  She had flu like symptoms for a few weeks, with seven days of throwing up.  I took her to the doctor three times before they finally agreed with me that she just didn’t seem to be getting better.  I pushed for an IV and so we had to go to the PCMS ER for that – not an experience I ever want to repeat.  But I’m happy to report that a day later she was a hundred times better and then two days later was a thousand times better. 

We all really struggled through it, and of course the moment she got better Joe and I both got it.  We were miserable and sick and I turned 30 and we got in an argument with family and we went to work and we stayed home and we just switched into utter survival mode.  But again…I’m happy to report good health for all in our household.

After all of this, we are trying to make some changes ‘round here.  We are trying to get out more both with and without Rylie.  We need to exercise our right to get a babysitter and/or leave Rylie with friends who have graciously offered.  We need to get take our little monkey on more adventures, even when it’s hard.

So for now, I’m gonna say “BUH-BYE JUNE – don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out!".  And say "HELLO JULY! Come right in, can I get you something to drink?".

Undelete

Oh Blogger, you know me so well!! Here I am again, after a couple of months of hiding inactivity. It's like sometimes I just want to get some things out. I know that nobody reads this, but I think I like it that way.

Stuff I don't really want to know

A coworker of my husband is looking at taking her son to our daycare. He is just a couple of months younger than Rylie. She has been going to the class and sitting for an hour each day this week. She came back yesterday and told Joe that Rylie sat on the floor and cried and her teacher did nothing about it. Uhm, thanks for nothing!!! I don't want to hear shit like that. I am a realist - I know that she cries during the day, I know that she doesn't get picked up right away. There isn't much I can do about it. In some ways, I think it can be good, if she gets held all day then she won't ever learn that it's okay to play on her own. On the flip side, you never know how much is too much. But, the bottom line is that I don't know what I can do about it. Besides quit my job and stay home. And of course vow to never let her cry. Because it's not like she doesn't cry at home. I know she isn't feeling great this week, and honestly she has tested my patience at times too. But I can't take the week off when she has the sniffles. Again, not a damn thing I can do about it. Now I am pissed and grumpy and feeling guilty. Again, thanks for nothing.

Weekend

I got so wrapped up in Rylie’s Birthday party I haven’t been able to do much else lately.  Thank goodness it’s done.  It went great, all the food turned out good and we had just enough guests.  A few folks that I would have loved to have had didn’t make it, but still lots of fun.  Rylie totally ate up all the attention – she grinned from ear to ear and played with her cake and got frosting in hair.  Thank goodness it is over though (did I say that already!!); seriously it was a lot of work!

So other big things, Rylie is standing on her own.  Trying to walk already???  CRAZY!!  It is so fun to watch, she blows me away every day.  Within a month I think we’ll have a toddler on our hands.  She has been a pretty fun and happy baby.  Her napping has been shifting a little, she is sleeping one long nap and one catnap on weekends.  It actually works out great for us, she naps in the morning and then sneaks in a nap in the car in the afternoon.  Can’t wait till we are down to just one long nap – I’ve been waiting for this for sooooooooo long!!

Deserving of its own paragraph: RYLIE IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT!!!  Been about 17 days in a row I think??  So glorious this sleep thing!!

And cow’s milk seems to be going great too.  My only reservation about switching over completely during the day is that it will make weekends more challenging because we’ll have to give her a bottle before naps….hum.  Not sure how she’ll feel about that….I did give her a warmed sippy of straight cow’s milk over the weekend and I think she drank an ounce or two.  She seemed happy enough about it too, so that was good.  I’m a little sad to think that weaning is right around the corner.  Hard to know how difficult it will be for her.  And me!!  More to come on that, I’m sure.

Finally, Sunday was great.  I road up Emigration with Carrie and then we got to test out our new grill Sunday night.  Joe made some a-mazing steaks!!  And it only took like 10 mins.  Yum, yum J Can’t wait to cook up some more stuff this wee

Been too long!!

Just a snippet of the kidlet with her mama

When it’s good – it is VERY GOOD!!

Wow, I’m like a whole new woman.  Rylie has SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT 4 TIMES IN A ROW!!!  And yes, I am shouting. 

I guess it just took a little nudging from us to finally get her there.  She will occasionally peep in the night, but less than a minute and she is back to sleep…..ahhh.  Now, let’s be clear here, I know that no state of baby sleep is ever permanent.  In a matter of a few nights we could be right back where we were and agonizing once again over what to do to help her (and us!) sleep better.  But let’s just not think about that right now, let’s simply revel in our bliss of sleep and think not of the future.

In other baby news, we found out our peanut is still a wee little thing.  She weighed in at a whopping 15lbs 7oz at a week shy of 1 year old. In case you are wondering what “percentile” that is, it’s the nothing percent.  She doesn’t sit on that funny little chart, she makes a curve that is below and it has lost a bit of it’s gusto since she learned to crawl.  The doc was not negative per se about her weight, but instructed us to add some delectable yummies to her diet.  So now her veggies have butter and she gets peanut butter and avocado, etc.  Last night she was gobbling up toast with cream cheese – yum, yum, if I do say so myself.

We also got the green light on cow’s milk.  Woo hoo!!!  Milestone reached.  However, our first go-round led to some spitting of milk.  But I’m trying not to despair.  We’ll start mixing it into her bottles and see what happens.  When she’ll take it straight up then we’ll start dropping pumps and la, la, la, la I will have my day back.

All of this, while totally baby centered is ME centered as well.  She napped wonderfully yesterday, allowing me to get a nice bike ride in and led to a happy stress free baby day.  As I posted earlier, the bike ride was fabulous.  The weather here in Salt Lake has been a-mazing and I’m looking forward to more miles coming up.  I’ll keep ya posted.

Magic Sunday

The beautiful Salt Lake weather this weekend prompted me to dust off my road bike and head for the hills. I am so proud of myself for getting out - and actually pushing myself even though I am so out of shape it is hilarious.  My Cannondale road amazingly and it really felt good to be out on the roads.  I will always be a road biker :)

Does this make me look fat?

The answer is always yes, because if you feel like you look fat than it doesn’t matter if you look fat or not.  I do “feel” a bit fat, but I also feel a bit off in other ways.  My hair has been very “eh” the past couple weeks and my complexion is not exactly rosy.  I presume it’s because I’m fighting a cold and still trying to get enough sleep.  I also worry about the foods going in when I’m sick because I’m much less likely to be eating healthily when I’m tired and sick.

You’ll find out, if you stick around here long enough, that I have an interest in learning about food and its health benefits.  However, sometimes I feel very overwhelmed by the glut of conflicting information out there.  It seems like everywhere you turn certain foods are being vilified as the new cancer causing poison – but it happens so much that you are left with a feeling of not being able to eat anything.  And I hate that, I’ve never done well trying to completely eliminate a food group.  In addition, I have to keep Joe fed and he doesn’t tend to fall prey to as much “food fear” as I do and he grows weary of drastic “food kicks” that have popped up from time to time. 

Of course now we have Rylie to feed.  In some ways it’s easy – veggies and whole foods in, not too much sugar or salt or processing.  But, how do I make sure she is getting enough iron, vits, minerals, fiber, calcium, etc??  With breastfeeding starting to become less important in her diet, I feel a new responsibility to provide her with the best food I can – as well as eating healthily ourselves as examples.  But how can I do this with such limited time? And how far is too far, or not far enough? 

All of this is food for thought. In the meantime, I’m just trying to heal my body inside and out, so that I’m not stuck asking myself, “does this make me look fat?”

Kidlet at my feet

Pick me up!!

Just an update

Been having a rough go of it lately. Had to scale things back in life just to stay afloat. I have had a nasty cold for the last week and seem to be developing a sinus infection. As I'm still nursing it's best I avoid antibiotics so I'll be hitting the netipot hard at least until I can try and get my head unplugged. I just heard on the radio that antibiotics are over prescribed for sinus infections anyway, so we'll fight it the Eastern way I guess. Just sucks cause it takes a lot longer...

Rylie's sleep has continued to suck and we are still in sleep debt, her and I. I think we may have had a breakthrough last night though. She woke at 12:30 and I didn't go in. She stayed calm and just whined for a bit. Less than 20 minutes and she was back to sleep. Hallelujah!!! She woke again at 4, so I fed her and then she was up for the day at 6. Much improved for sure. Hopefully we can keep knocking out that 12-1 wake-up for a bit. Eventually we'll work on sttn, but 1 step at a time.

Sent out our e-vite last night for Rylie's party. Could be like 40 people if everyone comes. Yikes!! Tiny house will be busting at the seams!! But I've stressed enough about it, just gotta clean house and do some cooking. How hard can it be, right? Right.

Feeling pretty out of shape, doesn't help that it's snowing again here. But honestly it has more to do with my lack of energy than anything.

Starting to drop pumps, I guess I've given up my evening pump for good now, unless the doc bursts my bubble and says we have to wait on cow's milk. We'll know on Friday. I'm excited, but nervous and guilty all at the same time. Can see there might be some feelings about this whole deal that haven't surfaced quite yet. Stay tuned I guess!!

That's it for now, I'll try to post something more focused later this week.

Another post about sleep

I had no idea before I had Rylie that so much of our time would be devoted to helping her sleep. Naps and night wakings, we spend countless hours trying to fit the puzzle together to somehow get the right fit - a well rested family! This week has been awful and I've switched into survival mode. Exercise, cooking, etc all need to wait until I am back on my feet. I'm skipping my evening pump and going down early. I'll fill you in more later, right now I'm going to try and get some shut eye.

Prayers for sleep!!

I really need Rylie to sleep better tonight.....

Kiddo loved the asparagus!

Made some green stalks for dinner tonight to go with our leftover tortellini. She really went to town on it - but the joke will be on me when her wet diaper stinks like an old man's dirty sock. I'll let you know how that turns out!!

Baby's not such a baby anymore

If you are a Mommy or a Daddy, you know that cow’s milk is a huge no-no until babies reach their first birthday.  Up until then it’s breast milk only (or formula if you are going that route).  Rylie is a booby baby, she hated bottles until she was about 6 months and could hold them herself.  Since I work all day and she spends the day with a sitter, I pump milk for her to drink the following day.  It is a HUGE commitment to pump each and every day while trying to work a full time job and many a determined lady has had to put her pump on the shelf in favor of formula.  I am, if nothing else, very stubborn and type A.  So quitting was never any option for me.  I only would have stopped if I tried every possible avenue and still wasn’t making adequate milk for the kiddo.  But as it is, despite its challenges (which I may detail later on) we are fast approaching the ever important first birthday.  My, my, where has the time gone?

The point of all this is that dropping the pump and being able to offer cow’s milk will drastically change my days and I am really looking forward to it.  I pump three times per day (2x at work, 1x before bed at home).  I should be able to drop them slowly, first the evening, then 1x at work, then none.  And then I’ll have a real lunch hour again, and will be able to go to bed as early as I like and will spend less time washing plastic pieces and, and, and….  So, I’m really excited, albeit a little nervous (because it’s a change, and change is big and scary).  I was thinking of dropping my evening pump this week and just counting on my freezer stash to make up the difference, but I think I should wait just a few more days.  Oh, it’s so close I can almost taste it!!  Seriously, you won’t believe how this will change my life.  Just wait and see!!!

What an evening!

Seriously it was a toughie. Rylie usually goes to bed at 7:30 - but she was so exhausted - I put her down at 6:30. I hope it's not a disasterous night of sleep. I just watched a teeny bopper movie, called Easy A. Makes me feel old, because I am so far away from high school it's like it never happened. I've always thought I could do better the second time around - but honestly I bet it would still suck. Anyway, makes me think about Rylie going to high school. I hope I can help her to make it really good and avoid making the mistakes I did!!!

Getting ready for bed now. No way am I waiting for Joe to get home...I did not get out for my run. Rylie just wasn't up for it and my achilles tendons are killing me from hiking. Maybe tomorrow....

Updated: HORRIBLE night of sleep!!  They say never to use all caps when you are typing because it's like you are yelling, but I feel like yelling, so CAPS, CAPS, CAPS!!  Anyway, kiddo was up about 3 times again, finally Joe stepped in at 4 and got her back in her crib and back to sleep.  Not sure what to do next.  She was a happy little munchkin this morning though, so maybe we are on the downhill side of this cold and we can address the sleeping issues as they come. I'm a walking zombie today, but I'll keep caffeinating and hopefully I can get through till bedtime tonight.  A run tonight??  Hum....

They grow up so fast

What do you mean I went over my texting limit this month?  There's a limit?

Night time isn't what it used to be

Rylie was up 3 times last night!!! Boo - I finally just brought her into bed at 4:30, but it's not like I get much sleep with her hogging up the bed. She has a sniffly nose, so I'm guessing that's what all the fuss was. Uhg, just what we need, another cold. She didn't seem that bad this morning so I doped her up with vitamin - I and sent her off to school. Wonder if I'll hear from them today? I'm prepping myself for some time off this week and Joe is doing the same.

Tonight is supposed to be a running night, but I'm not sure if it's going to happen. Joe is going skiing after work, which means single parent evening with a fussy, cranky baby. All the more reason to go, right? We'll see I guess. No wonder I am out of shape....

Here's the plan

Before Rylie was born, Joe and I were super active.  We got used to fit bodies and sore muscles.  It was a way of life to ride our bikes and ski during all our free time.  We did a lot of stuff as a couple and when we decided to have a baby we knew that things would really change in that area.  And of course they have, and of course it’s still tough some days.  It’s not that I miss sweating up and down mountains all day long, at least not really, it’s just that I feel like a part of my identity has been lost.  The person I thought I was isn’t so clear anymore.  And I want to find that person again because I know she can exist, even as a Mom.  I want to be that person so that Rylie has a role model of a healthy, active well balanced woman.

The challenge is to be active with very limited time and often not a lot of sleep and motivation.  It seems the best answer is going to be running.  It maximizes results for limited time spent exercising and I can take Rylie in the jogging stroller if I have to.  But….the problem is I’m not much of a runner and since Rylie is almost a year old, I am not in fighting shape anymore.  So I have to start out slow, which is really hard.  My first goal is to be able run a continuous 30 mins without overdoing it and getting sore.  I did a 10K over the summer essentially off the couch, so it’s not an impossibility, but I was hurting the next day for sure!!!

As of today, I have gone running twice and on Sunday went hiking.  Thursday was walk 6, run 8, walk 6, run 8, walk home.  And then Saturday was walk 5, run 9, walk 5, run 9.  My plan is to run Tues, Thurs, Sat, Sun – it will be a big accomplishment with my schedule!!!  I’ll be back here to post along the way J

Meet Rylie

This is the day after Rylie was born. She was born a full month early and spent her first 5 days in the NICU. But no problem for her, she was up and out before the nurses could even blink. She really blew all my expectations out of the water.

What does it mean?

I think my first post should begin by explaining the title of this blog.  Rylie was born 344 days ago, therefore it has been 345 days since I last saw the person that I was.  I don't want that to sound depressing - because it's not really, but anyone that has children can tell you that the person before kids is not the same as the one after.  And for most people, maybe all people, the new person is bigger, wiser, grander in lots of ways.  BUT, you knew there was a "but" coming right?, giving birth to a new person takes some getting used to.  And by new person I of course mean me.....although I suppose Rylie is a bit of a miracle too :)